After a separation, you may be coaxed to try and use text messages to text your ex back into your life, but it’s almost never as uncomplicated as it seems. You persuade yourself to take out your phone and begin typing that very first text, but there’s always that voice in your head that makes you question whether or not you’re carrying out the right thing.
Your head becomes stuffed with concerns such as:
1. Could transmitting the wrong text cause my ex to never want to see me again?
2. Do I need to apologize and try to make up for everything I did wrong in the relationship?
3. How am I going to respond if they write me back?
4. What if they don’t respond? What do I do then?
5. Am I giving in too readily by texting them? Should I make them miss me more?
6. Will a text make them see me as irritating, desperate, or obsessive?
And your brain continues to formulate doubt after doubt…
You start to feel needy and unhappy. You begin to feel like you’ll never know what to say to get your ex to take you back. You feel lonely and paralyzed.
This happens to many people after a break up. Right now I’m going to reveal some tips with you about sending those all important first text messages to help you get your ex back.
Before you try to text your ex back after a separation, there are a few critical things you’ll want to take into account. Don’t overlook the first text. It’s highly crucial for a variety of reasons.
When done right, they can open your ex up to the concept of being with you again. When done incorrectly, they can shut the lines of communication permanently.
Always keep these five things in mind as you create every one of your texts to your ex:
1. A period of no contact is always a good idea.
Give yourself a span of no contact (3-4 weeks is best). Try to use this time to find out exactly what you want from your relationship with your signficant other. Do you genuinely want them back in your life? Are you able to forgive yourself and forgive them for any mistakes that have been made? It’s necessary to have clear goals in view.
2. Avoid speaking about the past relationship.
Discussing the relationship immediately will only raise negative emotions which will tend to shove your ex further away. You should be positive and upbeat so your ex can do not forget why they were with you in the first place.
3. Don’t beg, plead, apologize repeatedly, or tell them things like “I’ve changed”.
The past relationship is dead. You want to open your ex to the possibility of being in a new, better relationship with you.
4. It’s ok if you don’t receive a response immediately.
Don’t expect your ex to respond to your first few texts and don’t get frustrated if they go silent. You need to construct your first few texts in a way that doesn’t put any stress on your ex to respond.
5. Don’t send texts for no real reason. Text with a strategy in mind.
Think about each and every text you send before you send it. Nothing texts also need to be sidestepped. In the Text Your Ex Back Michael Fiore program relationship expert, Michael Fiore, discusses “nothing texts” and why you should stay away from them. Keep reading to uncover more about what these are.
What Are Nothing Texts In The First Place?
As Michael describes, a nothing text is” … a text that doesn’t actually SAY anything and doesn’t leave any “hooks” for positive interaction.” These are text messages such as “Yo” or “How’s it going?” (you may already be guilty of sending these).
The above ideas should help you text your ex back. Give it time and observe what happens.